


THE VIPER

by SuzSinger



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:13:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28345209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuzSinger/pseuds/SuzSinger
Summary: Vex Valorum has been the terror of the galaxy as Snoke's first apprentice and executioner for too long. Many years under Snoke's thumb has made Vex obedient. All she's known in her life is pain and darkness - but she can only take so much. A creature such as Vex has never known love, but love is what cracks Snoke's grip.Re-write of "Glitter & Gold", cross-posted on my FF.
Relationships: Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/Original Female Character(s), Kylo Ren/Original Female Character(s), Poe Dameron/Original Female Character(s), Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	1. Chapter 1

THE VIPER

# Chapter 1

_22 ABY_

_Core Worlds Region_

**VEX VALORUM HAD BEEN AT THE MERCY OF SNOKE AND THE FIRST ORDER FOR AS LONG AS SHE COULD REMEMBER.** She didn’t know how it’d started. She didn’t know why. She just knew it’d happened when she was small.

If she really strained her memory, Vex remembered a woman. A Twi’lek. Screaming. Crying. Being restrained by Stormtroopers as Vex was being taken away. That was all she remembered of life before the First Order, before her Master.

Vex had once believed that woman to be her mother. In her innocent and childlike mind, that had been the only thing that made sense.

Now Vex knew better.

She knew now that her real family had traded her away for Snoke’s favor. For mercy. That woman – whoever she was – couldn’t be her mother.

Vex’s real mother couldn’t have loved her.

You don’t name someone you love for annoyance. Anger. _Pain_.

The name given to her revealed all Vex needed to know about her parents. How they felt for her. How they traded her away.

Her Master had made sure she knew that he was the only family she would ever have.

She remembered their first meeting vaguely, through a curious child’s eyes that didn’t seem like hers anymore.

She remembered a monster on his throne, huge and misshapen. A room filled with red. She remembered him calling to her, coaxing her forward. His enormous hand cupping her face. Tightening. _Hurting_.

At first, Vex hadn’t understood why he hurt her. She hadn’t understood pain or fear. She didn’t know what this monster wanted from her and why he would take her hand one moment and strike her the next.

She’d learned, eventually, that Snoke needed no reason to hurt her. She grew to understand. Everyday her Master gave her more to fear. More pain to overcome. Her lessons.

She hadn’t feared him enough, then. She knew better now. She knew what he was truly capable of.

Vex wasn’t a child anymore. She was his apprentice, his so-called daughter. Snoke had raised her at his knee, feeding her heart nothing but pain and fear.

Until one day Vex began to be numb to it all.

Until one day her own pain began to lose all meaning to her. When Snoke’s lessons began to lose their effectiveness. She was eleven years old.

Snoke had been baffled. He’d inflicted more pain. Become more creative.

But Vex’s will was strong. She’d found a way to distance herself from the pain.

In the end, her Master had found a way. He’d become taken with the antiquated idea of a whipping boy. Someone else to be punished for Vex’s own transgressions. Someone she wouldn’t want to see suffer on her account.

Snoke had chosen carefully. A girl, six years elder than Vex. Beautiful, loving – alike enough in looks to Vex that she could imagine they were kin.

 _Miri_.

All she’d known in the beginning was that Miri was to be her companion. Vex had been overjoyed and suspicious all at once.

And as frightened as she’d been when she’d been taken from her family, Miri had taken to Vex immediately. This strange, quiet little girl that longed so _fiercely_ for a mere crumb of love, of affection. Miri had been helpless to do anything but give it.

Before Miri, there’d been a droid that had served as Vex’s nanny. It’d been a cruel, nasty thing that would electrocute her if she disobeyed. Vex had gleefully destroyed it after Miri’s arrival.

It was Miri who brushed her hair ever so gently and braided it. Miri, who dressed her. Miri, who slept beside her every night, quelling her nightmares. Miri, who treated her wounds.

In a place of pain and fear, Miri taught her of love. Of light.

It hadn’t taken long for the elder girl to become _everything_ to Vex. Just as her Master had predicted.

Once Snoke was certain of the attachment between the two girls, he put the concept to the test. To take them past the plateau his little apprentice had reached months ago. To the point at which Vex would no longer obey.

To kill.

Every day her Master had summoned her to his throne room and ordered her to kill. There was someone new each day. Someone who cried and begged her not to. Vex had cried at the beginning too, pleading with Snoke to let them go, to not make her do such a thing.

He’d tortured her when she refused. For two hundred and six days, Vex refused and took her punishment. But today was different.

Today was different because Miri was led into the room by a Stormtrooper, an hour after Vex had arrived for her training that morning. An hour after that day’s standoff between her and her Master had begun.

 _“Kneel, girl.”_ Snoke ordered, blistering gaze directed towards Miri. She fell to her knees at once beside a shackled man, eyes darting between Snoke and his apprentice. The Stormtrooper left in a hurry once Snoke had waved him away.

There was fear in Vex’s heart, fluttering in her stomach. It was different than what she was used to. She’d always only feared for herself, never for someone else. The fear was excruciating. “ _Master_ ,” Vex said, brows furrowed.

Snoke beckoned her forward. Vex hesitated before taking a single step closer to him. He motioned at her again in irritation, and so she closed the distance between them until she stood within her Master’s reach. His hand reached out to cup her cheek in an illusion of gentleness.

 _“Today, my child, I am giving you a choice,”_ he began, dropping his hand to grip her arm and turn her to face the rest of the room. Where Miri and a nameless man, gagged and shackled – knelt before them. _“The decision is simple. Kill the man – or I kill the girl.”_

A sharp breath left Vex, that fluttering fear in her festering, turning sour and settling into something solid in the pit of her belly. “ _Please_ , Master,” she pleaded lowly, turning her eyes back towards him.

 _“You disappoint me, Vex,_ ” Snoke growled, free hand starting to stretch out towards the only person in this galaxy that Vex loved. Across the room, Miri watched with wide, terrified eyes. Wise enough to stay silent.

A desperate noise left Vex’s throat, throwing her arm up instead, faster than Snoke. The man beside Miri began to struggle, body lifted in the air by only the child’s power. His shackled hands clawed at his neck, shouts of pain and distress muffled by the gag.

Snoke’s hand tightened around her arm.

 _Good, child_.

His voice was a gentle coo in her mind, despite the pinpricks of pain in her arm. Vex squeezed her hand into a fist, watching as the man’s face reddened and his cries became nothing but gasps for breath.

 _Finish it_.

The voice was sharper now, startling her. Vex’s fingers flexed. A sharp crack echoed in the room. The man went still. His lifeforce – which she’d felt so clearly just a moment ago – was gone. The shock of it buckled Vex’s legs, only her Master’s grip on her arm keeping her upright.

 _“Rise, as the fearless warrior I trained,”_ Snoke ordered, giving her arm a brisk shake. Taking in a sharp breath, Vex climbed back to her feet. The dark thing inside her belly was heavier now, swirling around with force enough that she thought she might be sick.

He turned her to face him, milky eyes scouring over her. Snoke sighed after a moment. _“Sometimes I forget how young you are, my child. Only twelve,”_ he said plaintively. _“I see you becoming more powerful each and every day, and I crave more. Forgive this old man, Vex. Next time will be easier, I promise,”_ Snoke promised, drawing her into his arms.

Nothing inside of Vex wanted to be there. In his embrace. But if she fought, it’d be worse. That she knew. As much as she hated his hands on her, the alternative was worse. Snoke stroked her hair ever so gently – as if he thought it comforted her.

Miri remained on her knees across the throne room from Snoke and Vex, hands shaking as she hid them behind her back. A dead man lay strewn across the floor beside her, like a broken doll. But she could only look at Vex. She could see the torment in the child’s eyes. Knew that her own life had been leveraged in the battle of the wills between master and apprentice.

Vex had told her what her Master had wanted her to do. Knew how deeply wrong the child had felt it to be. How much she’d suffered to hold up that ideal. How quickly she’d given up the moment Miri had been brought into the room.

Vex hadn’t cried. Hadn’t screamed. She’d just obeyed. In that moment and the rest of her life, it had cost her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So --- I'm putting up the first few chapters as I finish them. After we get a real intro to the story, I'll post a chapter each week (hopefully).

# Chapter 2

_23 ABY_

_Outer Rims Territories_

**MORE THAN A YEAR AFTER HER FIRST KILL, VEX WAS NOW A PRACTICED HAND AT MURDER.** She knew it was wrong, _of course_ , but it didn’t feel so bad anymore. Especially when she killed someone like Cardo.

One of her Master’s new apprentices. There were seven in all – and Vex hated Cardo the _most_. He liked to taunt Miri. Corner her and say filthy things. Make threats. Once Vex had found out, she’d vowed to kill him. Put an end to it one way or another.

But Miri said that was wrong. Even if he’s a bad man. Miri was always in Vex’s ear, reminding her of what was wrong and what was right. Sometimes Vex wondered if she’d know at all if it weren’t for Miri.

The older she got, the more hazy the concept got. She remembered how long and how hard she’d fought before. Remembered how much she’d cared.

But what was the point _now_?

Vex knew the moment she refused an order, Miri would be dragged in. That Snoke would threaten her life. And then Vex would give in anyway.

No matter how much it hurt. No matter how wrong it felt.

So why fight?

In the end, she killed Cardo. The moment she had a chance.

Vex had been forced to train alongside Cardo and Snoke’s other apprentices and hated every second of it. Snoke seemed entirely enthralled by them, Kylo Ren especially. She cared very little that Snoke’s focus shifted from her. Better his attention split by eight apprentices, rather than a single-minded focus on Vex alone.

But Kylo Ren liked to flaunt the favoritism bestowed upon him. He was a child. Five years elder than her, but still so very _dim_. He thought he’d beaten her at something, stolen Snoke’s favor. He didn’t know the relief she felt.

Kylo Ren didn’t know the pain of being Snoke’s apprentice yet. But he would. Soon. Vex was certain of that.

While Snoke’s attention had indeed been diverted, he hadn’t forgotten her. Vex still had to train alone with her Master for at least an hour every day – and then spar with the others.

It was the only time she was allowed a lightsaber. Snoke said she was still too young to have her very own. Even if she was far beyond some of her Master’s new apprentices. Vex thought that unfair.

She _liked_ the feel of a lightsaber in her hand. She wasn’t sure why, but it grounded her. Made her feel like she had control of something – _anything_ – in her life.

Vex was skilled with the lightsaber, even though she wasn’t allowed to keep it at the end of each sparring session. That was how she’d been able to kill Cardo, a man twice as broad as she and with at least three heads on her. She knew she could have simply disarmed him, but then she remembered Miri’s tearful face. Reciting Cardo’s latest advance on her.

Vex made the conscious decision to kill him. The first kill she hadn’t been forced to make.

Vex couldn’t help the smile that spread across her feet as he fell. Twitched at her feet.

She wondered if it would be _too_ much to cut out the tongue that had spoken such filth.

Everything had fallen silent and still across the room. The other apprentices – the _knights of Ren_ – stared at Vex in shock for several long moments until Kylo Ren had begun to advance on her. It was Snoke’s laughter that stopped him in his tracks. Loud and joyous, as if something truly comical had happened.

Her Master stretched out his hand to her.

Vex switched off the blood-red lightsaber as she stepped over the body of Cardo to approach. She did not look at the others as she closed the distance between her and Snoke, placing her hand into his.

Snoke drew her closer, a monstrous smile on his lips. _“My ferocious child,”_ he cooed. _“How did it feel, striking Cardo down?”_ he asked.

“Good,” Vex said without much thought.

 _“What did it taste like?”_ Snoke inquired, tilting his head to the side.

Vex took her time answering, considering the question. Considering her emotions, as difficult as that was. “Sweet. Like Chantilly crème,” she answered.

Snoke laughed again, cradling her face in his huge hands. Those hands were cold, covered with rough bumps that always sent chills down Vex’s spine. By now, she knew never to shrink away. _“Like Chantilly crème,”_ he repeated mirthfully. _“Why do you think this kill tasted so sweet, unlike the others?”_ he asked. Vex shrugged. She knew telling the truth would earn her pain. _“Reach inside yourself with your emotions, Vex. Tell me,”_ he bade.

Vex obediently closed her eyes, searching down inside herself for the answer. _He hurt Miri_ , her instincts told her. “Because I chose to,” Vex began. “Because I hated him,” was the answer she gave.

And it wasn’t a lie.

Snoke laughed again. _“Hate is sweet, is it not, my child?”_ he said. Vex nodded lightly. _“I am so proud of you,”_ Snoke told her, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

He pushed the emotion out at her, pride and cold satisfaction. It took every fiber of her being not to flinch.

“You aren’t going to punish her, Master?” Kylo Ren asked suddenly, looking confused. The oppressing cloud suddenly dispersed around her. Snoke released Vex from his embrace, so she stepped to the side so he could face Kylo Ren.

Her hand still lay atop Snoke’s as she stood beside his throne. He liked the pretense of affection between them. No matter how she felt about it. Vex’s eyes found the new apprentice before her, schooling her expression.

 _“What would you have me punish her for, boy?”_ Snoke questioned, voice low and dangerous.

“She killed Cardo!” Kylo Ren shouted, gesturing towards his fallen comrade’s body.

 _“Lady Vex has only done what I taught her, Ren. She hated Cardo, and he was too weak to defend himself,”_ Snoke said. _“My child is only thirteen years old. If Cardo can be defeated by a child nearly half his age, he is the one to blame,”_

“She killed one of your apprentices!”

“You murdered the younglings of your last Master, Kylo Ren,” Vex pointed out quietly, pale blue eyes blazing.

Suddenly his angry gaze was fixed upon her. “That was a _mercy_!”

Vex snorted. “Is that what you call murder, Kylo Ren? Mercy? Then by your own logic, that is all I offered Cardo,” she retorted. He merely gaped at her, openmouthed.

Snoke’s laugh broke through the tense moment. _“Would you like to kill Kylo Ren, my child?”_ he asked. 

“Yes,” Vex answered bluntly, fingering the borrowed lightsaber hanging from her belt.

“Master!”

Snoke laughed again. _“Not today, my sweet. Kylo Ren’s power may rival even yours. We will keep him,”_ he decided. Kylo Ren’s shoulders slumped with relief, expression pulled down in a frown. _“Leave, all of you! I would speak with my beloved apprentice alone,”_

Kylo Ren and the others left eagerly, _quickly_ , after what Vex had done – after what Snoke had said. “Master, what is it?” Vex asked, turning back to face him.

 _“It is time, my child, for you to take a command position,”_ Snoke announced.

“I don’t understand,” Vex said, brows furrowed.

 _“You, my dearest child, will begin training your own legion. They will be yours alone to command,”_ he told her.

“Mine?” she asked in confusion, expression childlike.

_“Yes, Vex. Your loyalty is without question, my child. You have shown yourself to be obedient and dutiful, despite your young age,”_

“What will I do? With a command?” Vex said, beginning to look worried.

Snoke smiled, tapping her cheek. _“You will carry out my orders, of course. Special missions I can trust no other with,”_

Vex tried not to show the hope that consumed her at the mere thought of being able to leave the _Supremacy_. She hadn’t once left the ship since her parents had given her over to Snoke. “I do not know what to say, Master,” Vex admitted.

 _“Say nothing, child, and be thankful. In a month, the soldiers for your first unit will arrive and you will begin to train them.”_ Snoke said. Vex gave a curt nod. _“They will be of an age with you when they arrive. Their growth is accelerated and will age quickly as you train. When you’re ready, in time, they will have reached adulthood. By then, you will be ready to leave the Supremacy on your own ship for your first mission,”_ he explained.

“My own ship?” Vex said in surprise.

 _“I’ve already commissioned it, my child. The **Vexation** will be ready when you are,”_ Snoke said.

“Thank you, Master,” Vex said, awestruck and unsure of what else to say.

 _“Remember this, Vex,”_ Snoke warned, expression suddenly shifting darker, colder. _“If you fail me, there are others who can take your place,”_ he growled, fingers squeezing her hand too tightly. A sudden bolt of terror ran through her at the threat. She nodded quickly, head lowering to stare at the floor. _“Go on, then,”_ Snoke said, shaking her hand from his, gesturing for her to leave.

Vex was quick to shift away and start for the door. _“One more thing, Vex,”_ he called. Vex paused, turning back towards him. _“You don’t need a nanny anymore. Find a new use for her or I’ll send her away,”_ Snoke warned.

Vex dipped her head in acknowledgment. “I understand, Master,” she said. He waved a hand at her, dismissing her from the room. She was quick to step through the doorway, the doors hissing shut behind her.

Kylo Ren waited for her outside in the hallway, sweeping over to Vex. “What did he say to you?” he demanded, expression creased in anger. His great stature towered over the slight girl, but she did not allow herself to be intimidated.

Vex lifted an eyebrow, taking a neat step back. “He gave me a command,” she answered honestly.

Kylo Ren grit his teeth, squeezing gloved hands into fists. “The Supreme Leader gave _you_ a command? A little girl!” he exclaimed.

“What is it exactly that you take exception to, Ren? That I’m little, or a girl?” Vex inquired, tilting her head to the side.

“ _What_?”

Vex rolled her eyes and sighed. “It’s really a simple question. What do you object to, Ren? The fact that I’m younger than you, or because I’m female?” she challenged, hands planted on her hips.

“It’s not that – “ Kylo Ren sputtered, face flushing red. “The Supreme Leader should’ve chosen _me_.” he insisted.

She rolled her eyes again, turning away to leave. “It seems our Master has more faith in me than you, Kylo Ren. After all, I didn’t betray my first Master,” she pointed out.

“ _You_!” Kylo Ren’s hand darted towards his lightsaber. Vex felt it more than saw it, whirling back to face him – throwing out her hand and his froze mid-movement. He let out a furious growl, face reddening even further at the exertion of fighting against her power.

“Do not be foolish, Kylo Ren. Just because the Supreme Leader forbade me from killing you does not mean I cannot defend myself,” Vex warned.

“You’ll regret this, Vex,” he hissed.

Vex only smiled in response. “I think it’s you who will regret this, Ren. Stay away from me and mine and there’ll be no trouble. If not, well… Cardo should serve as an example to you all,” she said. “Do you understand?” she asked quietly.

“I understand,” he grit out and Vex dropped her hand. Kylo Ren dropped his hand back to his side.

The girl stared at him for a several long moments before turning on her heel and walking away. It didn’t take long to arrive back at her own chambers. Snoke wanted her within reach at all times. She punched in the door code and the doors hissed open.

Vex felt the weight fall from her shoulders as she stepped through, the doors sliding shut behind her. She paused right there in the doorway, eyes falling shut and hands squeezing into fists. A happy hummed melody reached her from the other room, where Miri likely was.

This was the only place she allowed herself to feel. Her fear. Pain. Happiness, sometimes. Outside, she always had to be collected. Show no weakness.

“Is that you, Vex?” Miri called. The girl did not reply, instead shuffling across the room to sit on the lounge centered in the room. She never opened her eyes, instead preferring the warm darkness of her closed eyelids. “Ah,” Miri hummed, closer now. “Are you hurt?” she questioned, hands settling on Vex’s shoulders warmly.

“Hm,” the girl muttered, taking stock of herself. Her right shoulder burned somewhere in the muscle. “My shoulder. It aches,” she admitted, reaching up to tap the hand on that shoulder. _Probably from tossing Cardo over her shoulder before striking him down._

Miri immediately drew that hand away. “Do you want to ice it, or I could rub it for you?” she offered, instead ruffling Vex’s disheveled hair.

“Ice.” Vex decided, resting her head back onto the lounge as Miri moved away, heading over to the small conservator her nanny stored ice packs inside in the corner of the room. Miri returned in a few moments, settling beside the younger girl.

She settled the ice pack on Vex’s shoulder. “Here?” Miri inquired. Vex reached up and pulled it a little higher, closer to her neck. She nodded. “How was today?”

“Bad.” Vex answered, peeking open one eye to peer at her.

“Did he hurt you?” Miri questioned, hand snaking into hers. Vex shook her head. “Then what happened?” she asked softly.

“Master gave me a command,” she began, sighing. Miri’s eyes widened. “He said I don’t need a nanny anymore,” she confessed, squeezing Miri’s hand.

“What does that mean?” Miri questioned, voice tremulous. Vex opened her eyes, finding her pale and looking uncertain. She squeezed her hand.

“I wouldn’t let him hurt you.” Vex promised, reaching over with her other hand to take Miri’s in both of hers.

Miri’s gaze snapped back to her charge, seeing that pallid face painted with determination. “I know, sweet,” she said hastily, brushing a blonde curl from Vex’s face. “I know.” she promised. “So tell me what that means,” Miri prompted.

“I have to find a new use for you or you’ll be sent away,” Vex told her. “I don’t know what that means, Miri. But I _can’t_ let you be sent away,” she insisted, voice turning desperate.

“So let me be useful, then,” Miri said. “Let me serve you in a different way. Give me a position in your command,”

“You can’t be a soldier,” Vex said at once with a shake of her head.

“I know,” she said, quick to reassure her charge. “What about a medic? I can train to be your medic, Vex. For your soldiers, for you,” Miri suggested.

“Are you sure?” she inquired with knitted brows.

Miri nodded. “I want to stay with you, Vex,” she promised. Who knew what would happen to Miri if Snoke sent her away? He’d probably kill her and never say a word to Vex of it again. That, or he’d masquerade the act in front of the child in order to psychologically torture her in another new, creative way.

Vex looked relieved at her words, but her expression creased with something else now. Something she showed Miri alone. Guilt. She saw it in an instant.

“Is there something else you want to tell me?” Miri asked gently.

Vex nodded, eyes fixed on her hands. “I killed Cardo,” she confessed in a small voice. Miri couldn’t help how she’d flinched, draw her hand from Vex’s. “I’m sorry!” the girl gushed, looking teary.

Miri sucked in a deep breath, schooling herself. “Are you sorry because you killed him, or because I’m upset?” she inquired in a calm tone. Vex ducked her head again and Miri knew it was the latter. She sighed. “We talked about this so many times, Vex. You know it’s wrong. Even if he’s a bad man. So why did you do it?”

Vex just shrugged, eyes fixed on her hands. She fidgeted nervously under Miri’s scrutinizing gaze.

Miri sighed again, shaking her head. She scooted closer to the girl, sliding one arm around her shoulders and leaning her cheek atop her head. Vex melted right away, tension flooding from her body and turning into her embrace.

Miri peered down at the girl, tucking another stray strand of hair behind Vex’s ear. This child she loved, this girl with guileless eyes was capable of unspeakable acts of evil. She watched Vex lose pieces of herself every single day. Watched her turn further and further away from the child she was just two years ago, when they’d met. Every day she was less able to tell right from wrong.

Vex was in pain every day of her life.

Once, she had refused to kill. No matter what Snoke did to her, that was the line she refused to cross. But now she had Miri to protect. Now, she’d give up the moment Miri’s safety came into question.

Snoke could make her do anything he wanted.

“I’ll live in the barracks with the others, once they come,” Miri decided after a few long minutes of drawn-out silence.

“But, Miri - ” the girl objected.

“ – maybe, if we put some distance between us, he won’t use me against you anymore, Vex,” Miri interrupted, stroking the pale blonde curls within her reach. "And then you can fight again, sweet. Be _you_ without worrying about me,"

"There's no point in fighting," Vex said quietly, looking sullen.

"That's why this is for the best," Miri murmured. "Vex, you're wrong. Fighting _is_ the point,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm dying to know what you think of Miri? And in turn, Vex? Miri's a new character in this version. Comment below, please. :)


	3. Chapter 3

# Chapter 3

_24 ABY_

_Coruscant_

**VENESIA HAD BEEN A PRINCESS ONCE.** Of sorts. A long time ago, before the Empire fell and the First Order rose. She'd wanted for nothing, days filled with luxury and riches. She'd been a social butterfly, flitting from party to party, making merry with anyone she met.

She never met her father – and her mother had died giving birth to Venesia and her twin. They were raised tucked away in a rural corner of Naboo, provided for by their father. Her brother had been everything Venesia wasn't. Quiet, kind – studious. He'd thought it might make their father – wherever he was – take notice of him. Venesia had a similar idea – but a very different method.

She'd gone to parties. Raised hell. Did all the things that had made her friends' fathers fly into a rage. But there was never a word from her father. Not once. Not for any of her escapades, nor for any of her brother's accomplishments.

When they'd come of age, Venesia and her brother had parted ways and never looked back. Never spoke again. She'd gone to Coruscant, the capital of the whole galaxy. She'd lived in luxury there, too. For six years, Venesia had the best apartment in the city, thrown all the best parties, and lavished her friends with expensive gifts.

She'd been happy.

Until the Empire fell. Until the money stopped coming. In a blink of an eye, Venesia was destitute. She had no skills, no job – and worse, no prospects.

So she'd gotten married.

Vane came from a distinguished line there on Coruscant. He was the last scion of the Valorum house – famous for its politicians and wealth. He'd been meant to follow the footsteps of his ancestors into the political world, but that had all changed when his father and grandfather – one a senator and the other a former Supreme Chancellor of the former Republic, respectively – were assassinated when Vane was just a child. He'd instead taken control of the family's lucrative starship business.

Venesia was now only the wife of a _businessman_. She didn't care how respected Vane was, how high his family's reputation was held. He wasn't good enough for her, and she never let him forget it.

But – through her husband, Venesia was able to maintain her lifestyle. That was the only reason she married him. And all Vane had asked in return was a wife on his arm when the occasion called for it.

_That_ and a child.

A son to carry on the illustrious family name.

Other than that, Vane and Venesia's paths never need cross. Not in the same home, not in child-rearing. That would be left to a nanny.

Five years after they'd married, Venesia had dutifully delivered a child. She'd resented every moment of the pregnancy, the creature inside her leeching off her strength and removing her from the social circle.

It was a daughter, born with her mother's blue eyes and a dusting of the pale blonde hair she'd inherited from her father. A child so beautiful she'd taken Venesia's breath away.

Vane never came to the birthing room. Not as she labored away – delivering _his_ child – not after, when he'd become a father. No, he'd heard – later – that it was a girl.

Not the son he wanted. The first girl child to be born of the Valorum line in centuries – a blight on the family name.

Vane had named the baby 'Vex'. He sent word through the slave that arrived at her door a few hours after the birth. After Venesia had already had her heart set on a name for her daughter.

_Apailana_.

She'd been the Queen of Naboo when Venesia was a child. Her nanny had taken Venesia and her brother to Theed for some sort of festival when they'd been small, and she'd seen Apailana. The Queen had been so beautiful, so graceful and kind.

That's who Venesia's daughter would be. A queen. Perhaps not in reality, but in spirit.

But Vane had named her Vex. He'd never laid eyes on their daughter, but he'd already decided who she was. An annoyance.

Venesia had wept that night, daughter bundled against her chest. She'd wept for her husband's cruelty and for the strange foreboding that throbbed like a thunderstrike in her chest all night.

In a month Venesia had returned to her world. To her friends and all the parties. She forgot all about Vex, about _Apailana_ – leaving her in the hands of a young Twi'lek slave. She never forgot her husband's slight, though. She swore never to bear him any other child, much less a son.

The child grew quickly. She was quiet and clever, like Venesia's twin. She saw him in her daughter's features every time she laid eyes on her, as few and far between as that was. Sometimes it was months before Venesia would see her daughter, always so busy with her social life.

Vex never looked at her. Not really. The child only looked through her, as if she was a windowpane. Those eyes – just like her own – made Venesia feel small and stupid. Vex cared only about her nanny. Only smiled at her.

Venesia didn't think Vane had ever looked at their child. The concept angered her, remembering her own childhood, her own father. Venesia knew she was a poor mother, but she made sure Vex had the best in everything. Her dresses were made of the finest silk in the galaxy, and only the most popular toys lined her nursery.

But that child didn't care for any of it. She'd play with a stuffed tauntaun for hours on end, but she never touched the toys Venesia bought her. She'd pick out the plainest dress in her wardrobe, ignoring the colorful and bejeweled ones Venesia had taken pride in picking out for her, considering her daughter's fair coloring and delicate features.

Venesia's daughter was five when the nanny came to her, whispering of strange occurrences around the child. That she knew things. Things a small child shouldn't know. How she saw things, told her of things that hadn't happened yet. How Vex moved things without touching them. How she only had to look at them – how they'd shudder and shake before sliding towards her.

Venesia had made the nanny swear to never speak of such things again. To discourage Vex from this ability.

No one could ever know.

But, of course, someone found out. To this day Venesia didn't know who or how. She just knew they came for her daughter.

They came for Vex.

Venesia hadn't been there to protect her daughter. She'd been halfway across the planet, attending the grand opening of the newest salon. It wasn't until she returned home and found her husband waiting that she found out.

Found out that Vane had sold their daughter to the First Order for their favor. For a contract building starships and battle stations that would make him trillions of credits richer.

He said they'd offered him riches or destruction – and he'd made the _smart_ decision. Vane tried to explain it away, say the First Order would've killed them if he hadn't agreed. His excuses hadn't stopped Venesia from raking her nails down his face. From screaming bloody murder and demanding he bring Vex back.

"Veni," he'd said, seizing her by the arms. "We will _never_ see that girl again. Do you hear me? _Never_!"

And that had held true – at least for the last nine years. Venesia had not seen even a glimpse of her daughter since then. She'd promised to never forget.

But she had, in a way. Venesia had gone back to her parties and her friends within a week or so. She wore the scar of remembrance now, like her queens of Naboo. At least in a symbolic way, she remembered her daughter. Every day as she sat in front of a mirror and applied her cosmetics, she made the decision to apply her lipstick that way.

But Venesia never looked for her daughter.

And she was never alone with her husband again. She certainly never bore him another child. No son to carry on his Valorum name.

Only the daughter he'd thrown away. If she still lived.

In nine years, Venesia hadn't spoken more than forced pleasantries – if the occasion forced it – to her husband. Not until he came to her and told her they'd been commanded to personally deliver the battle cruiser named the _Vexation_.

Vane had been perplexed but had drawn no conclusions. No connections. "You're a fool, aren't you? _Why_ , why did I ever marry you?" she'd cursed.

"What – what is it? What are you talking about?"

Venesia struck him across the face with the back of her hand before jumping to her feet to pace the room. Anger and something darker, something _painful_ whirled in the woman's chest.

"Venesia." Vane Valorum said, rising to his feet. His pale cheek was reddened but he showed no anger or frustration.

"Do you not even remember the name _you_ gave her? Our daughter? The one you _sold_!" she shrieked, whirling to face him. Her husband's eyes went comically wide at the realization, but Venesia found nothing amusing about the matter. " _He_ commissioned a ship named after your daughter and you never realized," she hissed scornfully.

Vane sank back into his seat with a weary sigh. "Why do they want us to deliver the ship in person, then?" he questioned, scrubbing a hand down his face.

Venesia paused in her pacing. She smiled, though the light in her eyes was dim and frightened.

"Because we are going to see our daughter again,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

_24 ABY_

_Mid Rim Territories_

**VEX TRAINED HARD WITH HER SOLDIERS EVERY DAY WITHOUT FAIL.** She'd started with just ten men, and within a month, twenty. A year later, she had five units of twenty clones under her command. They were one of the most elite emerging battalions with their dedicated training and ability to move seamlessly as a group.

She knew what it was like to be volunteered for a cause you didn't choose. Didn't want. The clones had been bred for this, yes, but Vex thought it still held true. She'd been raised to be a soldier, too. Her first order of business in training her men was to teach them to support each other and that she wasn't above them. Vex got down and dirty to work through the training maneuvers with them every day – emphasizing that she would support them as much as they supported her.

She wasn't like Kylo Ren, who threw fits and killed Stormtroopers in the midst of his tantrums. Vex kept a cool head in most matters – she'd never yet lost her temper in front of her troops and didn't plan to. She cared about them, in her way, as confused as it was. They treated Vex almost like a little sister – they were protective, they teased her – they'd become her escape from the misery of her life.

Miri had done as she'd promised, moving to the barracks once the clones had begun to arrive. She'd maintained a distance between her and Vex, who couldn't help but long for the closeness she'd had with the young woman.

Vex's troops were ready for deployment, ready to receive their Stormtrooper uniforms. Vex had designed theirs specially. Their body armor would be black with a dark green chest-piece that almost seemed black. On the right shoulder would be Vex's seal as it had been created by her Master years ago – an orb traced out with three arrows in varying angles and size echoed on both sides, with the letter V in the center.

Any day now her ship, the _Vexation_ would arrive and her battalion would leave for their first mission. Vex was overwrought at the mere thought, filled with both positive and negative feelings at the idea.

Kylo Ren had already been out on missions, of course – but he _was_ older than her at nineteen years old versus her fourteen. It was a small comfort knowing that he hadn't been given a command post until last month, and he had no personal battalion as she did. His knights were never on the _Supremacy_ anymore, to Vex's delight. They were always on some nefarious mission somewhere or other.

Vex was in the middle of working through an exercise with Unit Beta when her commlink chirped. She paused, dropping her blaster to answer it. _"My lady, the Supreme Leader awaits you in his throne room,"_ Commander Hux said over the link.

Armitage Hux was the son of Brendol Hux, the man who'd led the stormtroopers to take Vex from her home all those years ago. That time was fuzzy to her, but she remembered _him_. He'd been a cold man. Armitage might truly be a prat, but they shared a mutual loathing of his father. With that common ground, they worked well together. The two also commiserated over Kylo Ren's bratty behavior on the regular, forming a friendship – no, a friendly acquaintance.

"Alright. I'll be right there. Thank you, Hux," Vex said, terminating the link – and then, was promptly hit in the face with a towel.

"Thought you'd want to clean up before going to the Supreme leader," SN-1347 said, smirking from a few feet away.

Vex rolled her eyes as she dried her face and neck. "Thanks," she said dryly. "Carry on – I'll return if I can," she instructed, jogging towards the door.

"Be careful," another cautioned in a low voice. One of her younger clones, CC- 1431 always seemed wary of when she was called away. He was sweet. Vex enjoyed him.

Vex flashed a smile back at them. "Always am," she said, pressing the button to open the doors. She stepped through and into the nearest elevator. She took the few moments alone to right her appearance, quickly re-tying her hair up neatly and straightening her clothes.

The elevator opened a short way from Snoke's throne room, so Vex took the last few moments along the path to draw deep, calming breaths to prepare herself. She never knew what she'd be walking into with her Master.

Vex entered Snoke's throne room to see two people kneeling before her master, their heads lowered. A man and a woman. _"Come to me, my child,"_ Snoke called, holding out a hand to her. After a moment of hesitation, she stepped forward and past the kneeling couple to stand beside him and lay her hand on his upturned palm.

"What is it, Master?" she inquired, her curious gaze darting to the man and woman who knelt before them. They never moved. Never looked up. When she looked closely, she noticed the woman's hands were shaking.

Snoke's expression was split by a smile. Vex knew his expressions by now. _That_ one was not one of pride or joy. He was up to something. Something unpleasant, she was sure. _"Your ship, the_ _ **Vexation**_ _, has finally arrived. I thought you would take interest in meeting the man who had it built,"_ Snoke announced. Vex lifted an eyebrow, glancing back to the pair before her. _"Do you not recognize them, my child?"_ he cooed to Vex, snarling at the two a moment later to rise.

The man and woman stood. He didn't offer his hand to the woman despite how she stumbled when she stood. Vex's lips thinned. As she examined them, the man kept his face downcast still – refusing to look at her. The woman, however, had lifted her gaze to meet Vex's. A myriad of emotions passed through the woman's expression, known of which Vex recognized. Her hands trembled, still.

They were both weak-looking, Vex decided, in luxurious clothing. They were thin and well-kempt, clearly unused to any sort of physical labor. There was something about the two that tugged at Vex's unconscious, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it. She turned back to her Master, shaking her head lightly.

 _"Tell her who you are,"_ Snoke ordered.

The man lifted his head, looking at Vex for the first time. The cast of his skin against the pale blond hair was familiar. Vex tensed, the hand at her side curling into a fist. She turned her gaze to the woman again, finding the blue of her eyes familiar, too – Vex saw them in the mirror every morning.

She saw her features in them.

"I am Vane Valorum. My wife, Venesia," the man said, gesturing to the woman after introducing himself. Vex turned back to Snoke, eyes wide. His hand tightened on hers.

"I am your mother," Venesia Valorum said, voice trembling.

 _"Yes, my child. These are the people who sold you,"_ Snoke said. _"The ones you brought you into this world and then so cruelly ignored you._ _ **Betrayed**_ _you,"_

Vex sucked in a deep breath, her fist tightening as Snoke's grip on her other hand tightened. "We did what we thought best," Vane said, though his expression was uncertain.

"You thought it best to _sell_ your only child?" Vex said, her hand slipping from her Master's hold. Her grip on her temper was tenuous at best, and she was spiraling towards the edge – closer to the breaking point than she ever had before. She stepped closer to the pair, watching as her _father_ flinched. "Who named me?" she asked suddenly.

There were tears in her mother's eyes, her hands raised to cover her mouth. "I did." Vane confessed, brows furrowed.

Vex took another step closer, both hands curled into fists. "Did you truly hate me that much, Father?" she questioned, voice trembling with rage.

He gave a small shake of his head, mouth parting in surprise before looking down at his feet. "I wanted a son," he admitted honestly.

She exhaled a bitter laugh, her father startling at the sound. "I'm _so_ very sorry to have disappointed you, Father," Vex murmured, derision clear in her tone. "And you, Mother – " she began, turning to face the woman. "Did I disappoint _you_ , too? Is that why you sold me?" she questioned.

"I _loved_ you!" Venesia gasped through her hands. "He – _he_ sold you when I was away! I begged him to bring you back, but he wouldn't!"

Vane scoffed. "She didn't even know you were gone for a _week_. And she hadn't seen you in a month before that! She left everything to the nanny,"

"You _bastard_!" Venesia cursed, striking him across the face. "You _made_ me have a baby and you never so much as looked at her! You never talked to her! You never even held her!" she screeched at her husband.

Vex reeled back, stumbling back into Snoke, whose cold arms encircled her. She didn't know if she'd ever taken comfort from her Master before, but in this moment, she was grateful.

"Shut up, Veni! Remember where we are," Vane growled, catching her hand.

 _The First Order raised you, my child. Nurtured you. Trained you into the glorious warrior you are today._ Snoke's voice whispered into her mind.

 **They're monsters** , Vex thought. People so vile and selfish that they only blamed each other for their own shortcomings.

_What a fitting beginning to your saga, my apprentice. Strike down those who betrayed you._

Vex's eyes snapped open. So that was what this was about. He wanted her to kill her mother and father.

"I wanted to name you Apailana," the woman said suddenly, voice low and broken. Vex's gaze darted to her mother. "After a queen of Naboo. I loved you, Vex,"

Vex looked away, fixing her eyes on the wall for a long moment. She drew in a deep breath, sorting through her emotions. Stifling the agony in her chest. "If you loved me, mother..." she began, looking back to Venesia. "...did you ever look for me? Even once?" Vex questioned.

Her mother's mouth dropped open for a moment, gaping helplessly. Her reaction was answer enough. "...no," Venesia admitted, lowering her head. "But I remembered you every day. I painted the scar of remembrance every day, Vex," she went on, plaintively, gesturing towards her lips – the upper painted a deep red, and the lower with a vertical dash in the center.

As if that should _mean_ something to Vex.

She'd studied Naboo and their customs as part of her education, but this _gesture_ meant little. It was just a selfish woman's attempt to make herself feel less guilty.

"You think you're some sort of queen," Vex sneered. Her mother took half a step back in surprise, mouth dropping open in surprise again. "You swan about like you're the most important person in the galaxy. But you're not. No one really cares what you think, Mother. You're just the wife of a _businessman_ ," she hissed, feeling no satisfaction as her mother's face fell.

"And you, father –" Vex said, turning her eyes towards him. Pressure was building at the back of her eyes, warning of an unpleasant thing to come. " – you are a poor excuse of a man. Of a father. You will die unfulfilled. A _disgrace_. I have _seen_ it," she growled, brushing her eyes with the back of her hand.

" _Leave_!" she shrieked.

Her mother and father picked up and ran, never once looking back at her. Vex shook with indignant rage, breath leaving in sharp pants.

" _Well, I can't say I didn't hope you'd kill them,"_ Snoke admitted in a regretful tone.

Vex took a moment, breathing in deeply to stifle the emotion before turning to face him. "I thought leaving them to live and die together would be torture enough, Master," she said, voice full of false bravado. She forced a smirk to her lips before it quickly fell away. She dropped to her knees before him. "Why did you make me face them?" she questioned in a small voice.

Snoke reached out, brushing a hand over her head. _"A test, my child, I was curious to see if you could put aside your own wants. Your own emotions. As much as I hate to admit it, I know you do not share my all of my ideals. I had to know if you could put that aside in order to carry out my directives,"_ he explained.

"Did I pass?" Vex asked.

Snoke smirked, ruffling her hair fondly. _"I could feel your rage, my child. Your despair. You wanted to kill them. You wanted to tear that man limb from limb,"_ he began, looking truly amused. _"But you didn't. You didn't let your emotions control you. Yes, my child. You passed. Tomorrow you will ship out on your first mission,"_

"Oh?" she said, brows rising in surprise. "What is it?" Vex inquired, though her mind was swirling with conflicting emotions and thoughts.

Snoke regarded her silently for a long moment. _"Hux will inform you tonight. Take some rest now, my child,"_ he decided.

"Yes, Master," Vex agreed in relief, bowing her head before rising and leaving the throne room. She paused as the doors shut beside her, mind going blank. Before she knew it, anger and sadness began to take over again.

Vex set off towards the elevator with a sense of purpose, shoving a droid out of her way. She paced the elevator in restless silence until it descended to the residential level. She strode through the halls until she came to the barracks that housed her own soldiers.

And _Miri_.

She punched in the door code and stepped inside. The barracks were all but empty at this time, most of her soldiers in the training center. But not Miri. She trained in the mornings in the medical bay and then spent much of her time studying in the barracks.

Vex made a beeline for Miri's bunk, not even sparing her friend a glance as she threw a hand in the direction of the trunk set at the foot of the bunk. The trunk flew open, startling the woman sitting on the bunk. "Vex?" Miri said, setting aside her datapad. "Vex, what is it?" she questioned as Vex dropped to her knees in front of the trunk, digging through the contents with frantic hands.

Miri got to her feet and approached the younger girl cautiously. She reached out to rest a hand on Vex's shoulder, stopping a hairbreadth away when Vex flinched – as if she'd sensed her hand coming. "Where is it?" Vex questioned, resuming her frenzied search through the trunk.

"Where's what? Vex, what's wrong?" Miri questioned, hovering behind her.

"Your cosmetics! I need them!" the girl exclaimed, a hand coming up to tear at her own hair in agitation.

"Cosmetics – " Miri said in surprise, reaching past her to pick up a small, blue bag near the top of the trunk, unearthed by Vex's searching hands. "What – " Vex snatched the bag from her hands, emptying the contents on the floor before snatching up the lipstick and dashed towards the refresher.

Miri followed, brows drawn together in concern. "Vex, what happened?" she asked again, watching as Vex shakily opened the black lipstick – the only one Miri had.

"I need to _remember_ ," she murmured more to herself than anyone.

""Remember _what_?" Vex drew the color across her top lip, smearing it without any care. Her hands shook visibly as she painted a single vertical line down her lower lip. "Vex, you're scaring me!" Miri said, startling her. The girl dropped the lipstick into the sink, eyes never leaving her own reflection. Her hands, smeared with black smudges cradled her own face, leaving dark streaks in their wake.

"I need to remember what _they_ did." Vex said, fingers beginning to dig into her skin. Tears coursed down her cheeks. _"I need to remember what they did to me."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?  
> Vex's seal is posted as my icon on my profile here. :)


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